1. What is their genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions for improvement.
First off, don’t say, “I’m going to attempt to…” give yourself some credit. You chose this genre; take pride in your skills. Don’t forget to proof read. In “Why Build a computer”, sentence one, you forgot “of”. Reading out loud helps catch those errors. The genre is Tutorials, directions on how to accomplish something. They used computers as their interest. The purpose of the piece is clear but we never actually got to that information. The beginning has a nice introduction but it is lengthy. The main focus should be actually putting the computer together. In most tutorials, there isn’t any background knowledge or long introductions. This is a rule that the writer is breaking. I don’t think it is a bad thing though. It’s nice to go into a project knowing why you want to accomplish it. But it may not need to be so long.
2. Is the piece detailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion.
The piece is very detailed but not yet fully developed. The actual process of building a computer, the objective, has yet to be written. Make sure that when you write the process that the directions are clear and concise. Too many words make people confused. Each direction should be very specific with no room for costly mistakes.
3. Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that Is confusing?
The piece is organized by sections, each labeled with a number. That is helpful for the reader to keep their minds on track. The pictures are a bit distracting. I like the ones of the computer parts, its good to have visuals, but all of the cartoons are a bit much. A couple at the beginning is tasteful but you don’t want you project to become gaudy.
4. What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice appropriate?
I’m unsure about the voice because I haven’t seen the directions yet. During the intro, the voice is very casual. I’m not sure that is a good thing in directions on how to create a custom computer. If I were to embark on that journey, I would want to be reading something that sounded very educated and experienced, like they had done this a million times before. I’m not sure the chosen tone is appropriate for this piece.
5. Are there any language and convention issues?
Some minor proof reading issues. The piece will be very interesting but complex. Make sure directions are clear and can be performed by anyone ages 10 to 80.
1) What is their genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions for improvement. The Genre is a tutorial on how one can build their own computer. His interest is computers and technology. The purpose is clear. The piece is explaining why you should build your own computer and the fine details that go into it before it is ever built. No rules were broken but I think that because the piece is suppose to be about how to build a computer not why you should build a computer maybe cut out more of why and put in how or change the genre. I really did like the pictures and how it was broken down in to small parts to keep the readers interest. The thing is I don’t know a lot about computers and maybe in building one you need all these little bits of information before hand and if so the piece is off to a great start. There is already a lot of information and is a great body to start off with.
2) Is the piece derailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion. The piece is not yet finished but at the bottom is to be continued. I feel like you have a good piece starting. I don’t understand if you are talking about building like putting together a computer from scratch or just when you first buy a computer and you need to put hardware on it.
3) Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that is confusing? Yes the piece is organized from a good starting point, which is why build a computer and then goes straight to the Hardware so it is pretty straight forward.
4) What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice appropriate? The voice is appropriate it is more casual so it is more easy to understand and I loved the use of pictures I thought that was a great way to break up tutorial so the readers interest would not get lost.
5) Are there any language and convention issues? No the language is clear.
Chris, Really great work so far. Your tutorial is interesting and detailed. The media and design (the clip art and images) add some humor to your piece. Your tone is very conversational and works well. Work on expansion for revision.
1. What is their genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions for improvement.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, don’t say, “I’m going to attempt to…” give yourself some credit. You chose this genre; take pride in your skills. Don’t forget to proof read. In “Why Build a computer”, sentence one, you forgot “of”. Reading out loud helps catch those errors.
The genre is Tutorials, directions on how to accomplish something. They used computers as their interest.
The purpose of the piece is clear but we never actually got to that information. The beginning has a nice introduction but it is lengthy. The main focus should be actually putting the computer together.
In most tutorials, there isn’t any background knowledge or long introductions. This is a rule that the writer is breaking. I don’t think it is a bad thing though. It’s nice to go into a project knowing why you want to accomplish it. But it may not need to be so long.
2. Is the piece detailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion.
The piece is very detailed but not yet fully developed. The actual process of building a computer, the objective, has yet to be written. Make sure that when you write the process that the directions are clear and concise. Too many words make people confused. Each direction should be very specific with no room for costly mistakes.
3. Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that Is confusing?
The piece is organized by sections, each labeled with a number. That is helpful for the reader to keep their minds on track. The pictures are a bit distracting. I like the ones of the computer parts, its good to have visuals, but all of the cartoons are a bit much. A couple at the beginning is tasteful but you don’t want you project to become gaudy.
4. What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice appropriate?
I’m unsure about the voice because I haven’t seen the directions yet. During the intro, the voice is very casual. I’m not sure that is a good thing in directions on how to create a custom computer. If I were to embark on that journey, I would want to be reading something that sounded very educated and experienced, like they had done this a million times before. I’m not sure the chosen tone is appropriate for this piece.
5. Are there any language and convention issues?
Some minor proof reading issues. The piece will be very interesting but complex. Make sure directions are clear and can be performed by anyone ages 10 to 80.
Genre of Interest: Questions for Peer Review
ReplyDelete1) What is their genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions for improvement.
The Genre is a tutorial on how one can build their own computer. His interest is computers and technology. The purpose is clear. The piece is explaining why you should build your own computer and the fine details that go into it before it is ever built. No rules were broken but I think that because the piece is suppose to be about how to build a computer not why you should build a computer maybe cut out more of why and put in how or change the genre. I really did like the pictures and how it was broken down in to small parts to keep the readers interest. The thing is I don’t know a lot about computers and maybe in building one you need all these little bits of information before hand and if so the piece is off to a great start. There is already a lot of information and is a great body to start off with.
2) Is the piece derailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion.
The piece is not yet finished but at the bottom is to be continued. I feel like you have a good piece starting. I don’t understand if you are talking about building like putting together a computer from scratch or just when you first buy a computer and you need to put hardware on it.
3) Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that is confusing?
Yes the piece is organized from a good starting point, which is why build a computer and then goes straight to the Hardware so it is pretty straight forward.
4) What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice appropriate?
The voice is appropriate it is more casual so it is more easy to understand and I loved the use of pictures I thought that was a great way to break up tutorial so the readers interest would not get lost.
5) Are there any language and convention issues?
No the language is clear.
Chris,
ReplyDeleteReally great work so far. Your tutorial is interesting and detailed. The media and design (the clip art and images) add some humor to your piece. Your tone is very conversational and works well. Work on expansion for revision.